movies

Looking better.

   Iron Man 2: Trailer #2

CUSACK! Robinson! Corddry! .......This has potential...but then again, it is probably going to suck. I'm torn.

   Hot Tub Time Machine

I think I'll wait until bro#4 tells me how it is and then know the opposite is true.

Now I just need to make a kid to put in it....

   Tauntaun Sleeping Bag

John Hughes' movies are the foundation of comedy from my childhood - through the 1980s no one had a track record of success like he did. Even the greatest 80s movie, Better Off Dead, owes its heritage to Hughes' genius. As a memorial, we decided a good Friday night would be watching the great parts of all his movies we owned - 9 of them (besides Cubby Broccoli and George Lucas, there is no one we own more movies by - as another statement of his genius.)

Turns out these movies are too good for that - even though we have seen each of these movies a dozen times - once you start watching you have to see it all again, as if the laughs are as fresh as the first time you saw them. We only made it through 2 essentially entire movies.

PS:
From Facebook - Rico, an ex-coworker, passed along the link to Hughes' own original short story that was re-written to the screenplay for National Lampoon's Vacation.

   Vacation '58

It is a quick little read...and it is amazing 1) How comprehensive it is to the framework of the movie, 2) how well Hughes retooled it to make it even better.

Ratings of what we own:
Rating    (Possible Ratings)
National Lampoon's Vacation: Wait in Line the Night Before it Opens
Sixteen Candles: Opening Night
The Breakfast Club (on VHS!): Matinee
National Lampoon's European Vacation (on VHS!): $.99 Rental
Weird Science: Full Price Ticket
Ferris Bueller's Day Off: Opening Night
Planes, Trains and Automobiles: Opening Night
The Great Outdoors: Matinee
Uncle Buck: Full Price Ticket
Christmas Vacation: Wait in Line the Night Before it Opens


Ratings of what we have seen:
Rating    (Possible Ratings)
Mr. Mom (I've never seen it: She says): Full Price Rental
Pretty In Pink (I've never seen it: She says): Full Price Rental
Some Kind of Wonderful (I've never seen it: She says): $.99 Rental
Dutch: Full Price Ticket

Another reason to MAKE IT 2010 NOW, LITTLE BABY JESUS!!!!!

   Tron: Legacy Teaser Trailer

I think about science fiction movies much too much while I watch. If I just went into a movie looking for some entertaining ass-kicking I would have come out a lot happier from many movies; especially Terminator: Salvation.

The path to viewing T4 started with an AIM from the lovely Amy of "Amy and that guy who works with me" fame. She hooked me up with two free premiere passes to see it 3 days before it opened to the public. (Yay, Amy!) I told She what I had received and she was all "Terminator? Meh." So I had to start searching for a hot man-date (since I am a sexist and assume women wouldn't want to go). Luckily for me, Mr. Raih was looking for a testosterone-filled nightcap. We had a romantic dinner on the patio at the new(ish) Tavern on France and then popped over to the show.

Titanium robot ass was kicked, time travel was mentioned and someone said "I'll be back." Yet I was left unsatisfied.

There is absolutely no way that humans could last a month in a war of attrition against machines that have no purpose but building a tireless nuclear-powered army to eradicate us. Human are too fragile; we need food, water, oxygen - all of which can be made toxic to us. Our bodily heat signatures can be seen from space by even Cold War technology....and then we desperately huddle around fires and vehicles which makes it even worse. All this is even before we start to try to organize to fight back; once we do that we start to create easily triangulatable radio signals - and gather into communal housing with tremendous tell-tale markers.

Perhaps humans would have had a chance when war was purely about applying firepower - but now that war is won almost exclusively on the gathering, management and application of information we have no hope. The first thing machines would do it place sensors every 100 feet on the face of the planet; reporting GPS locations of movement, heat, audio waves, radio signals, gun shots, etc, etc, etc. This data would go into the grid and be crunched real-time for anomalies. Immediately upon detection by the intelligence network a weapon would be delivered to eliminate the target. The only existence for humanity would be hiding stationary until you starve to death...so still the robots win. This knowledge bothered me all through the movie.

However, even if one didn't think about this minutia; this plot is not that tight. Anyone remember the "control frequency" thread? what happened to that game changer? Was there any point to the future Auschwitz? Why do Terminators suddenly play with their prey? Why do Skynet factories have human accessible security panels are they left over from human days?

The only truly positive thing I will say about this movie is that it has the best fully computer-generated human character I have ever seen in cinema. It is truly on the verge of being indistinguishable from reality. SAG cards may be on the verge of extinction if this sort of thing catches on.

Mindless entertainment, it will fill a couple hours for you -- but that is about it.

Rating    (Possible Ratings)
Terminator: Salvation: Full Price Rental
The Terminator: Opening Night
Terminator 2: Judgement Day: Camp Out in Line Before Opening Night
Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines: Matinee

Sugar finally made it to MN. So we popped in and caught it opening night.

This movie suffered painfully from pacing problems. They could have easily cut 30 minutes out of this 2 hour run time - thus the movie meandered back and forth never seeming to know how to portray the Latino issue in the Majors. Is it a yellow brick road out of poverty? Is it exploitation of young men? by the MLB? by their own families? Are they essentially cheap commodities that can be bought and sold between teams - but if who are injured are simply inexpensive poker chips written off 'til the next hand comes around?

Perhaps it comes down the fact that there are so many murky moral issues surrounding bringing 18 year old boys, who have never traveled more than 50 miles from their homes, to another country sans family, where they don't speak more than 20 words of the language. Then for months if not years, dangling million dollar carrots in front of them while keeping them working 16 hour days - reminding them all the time to work harder or win a ticket back to obscurity in poverty. But if they do make it; their lives, their families' lives, possibly their entire communities' lives are changed forever.

Huh, maybe the movie is accurate... but that still doesn't make it cinematically enjoyable.

PS: Part of the plot has Sugar playing for the "Bridgetown Swing"....which in reality is the Quad Cities Swing. Some very nice shots of the the park and bridge backdrop. Kinda cool to have been in those seats and then watch it on the big screen.

PPS: Also in attendance was local sportscaster, Mark Rosen...we followed him out of the theater while he discussed the making of the film with someone who seemed to have inside information...gotta add another "celebrity" to our list.

Rating    (Possible Ratings)
Sugar: Full Price Rental

This was alright. It was probably tainted by the fact that I had heard so much about it during the long wait between release and me bothering to take a look. I spent a lot of the movie just marveling on the star power that Stiller is able to pull together for throwaway roles; McConaughey, Tobey McGuire, Christine Taylor ( ), Jason Bateman, Lance Bass, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Jon Voight, Tyra Banks and, of course, Tom Cruise. Every new scene seemed to feature someone I would never have suspected.

Downey, Jr.'s Lazarus blackface could not have been done much better...every now and again one would forget who you were watching in that role. I think the Oscar nod was warranted even in this comedy role. Loved the "I don't get out of character until I do the DVD commentary." line. Danny McBride did what he always does in every movie - and I liked it again. I think I could watch Jack Black dig around in his underwear all day.

Actually the best moment in the entire movie was during the best 5 minutes of the movie, the fake trailers at the beginning. Touting Tobey McGuire's awards cred with "Winner: Best On Screen Kiss: Teen Choice Awards" (which he really won) against Kirk Lazarus' 5 Oscars. Brilliance!

PS: I wonder how much TiVO would have paid for this ad?

Rating    (Possible Ratings)
Tropic Thunder: $.99 Rental

Kevin Smith has no talent at everything he does - spare one. He is a plain hack when it comes to writing - he has never matured enough to realize that shocking subject matter and swearing don't make dialogue realistic, just amateur and boorish. He directs with the skills of a film school student. Even when he performs as characters with no lines of dialogue he can't act. All he can do is assemble talent. He constantly surrounds himself with people who are live wires, people who are alchemists at turning his crap into their own improv comic gold. I imagine Smith must be a great guy to hang out with in real life, in interviews he comes across as a much more likable guy than I would ever give him credit for from his catalog of work.

All that holds true in this movie as well (at least he didn't choose to 'act' in this one). Craig Robinson, Jason Mewes and Seth Rogen spewed forth enough improvisational content that this one was saved in the editing room from their throwaways. (Frankly with his new post-rehab look Mewes is so interesting to look at and listen to I could have just stared at him for 90 minutes and called it good. Maybe just toss in a little Mewes vs. Robinson banter too.)

I am probably being too hard on this as I am eternally biased against Smith, himself. The plot is cohesive, if uninspired. The conclusion is predictable, but welcome. The humor is crude, but sporadically entertaining. Meh. Enough said, time for some Dutch Rudder.

Rating    (Possible Ratings)
Zack and Miri Make A Porno: $.99 Rental

Seth Rogen did a pretty good job with the script...which I am sure was more of a 'framework' than a script - then they just turn the cameras on and film what words come out of people's mouths for a couple hours. Frankly the movie would have been better, much much better, if the killing Rogen "witnessed" would have been a drug-induced hallucination and we just watched Rogen and Franco on the run from their own delusions (and a few seemingly-confirmational coincidences) than what actually did transpire here. High school-age girlfriend? Asian gang? Crooked cops? Drug war? ...all crap...cut 'em out. This is getting to be a pattern with Rogen though - his stuff is always one good rewrite away from a movie classic.

There is no doubt James Franco's performance was a classic though - his laxidasical paranoia is gold...I nearly busted a gut during his "nothing and Quizno's" line. Danny McBride is really showing himself to be a powerful character actor - I am sure we are going to see his stream-of-consciousness delivery more and more in these type roles. PS: I love Gary Cole.

Rating    (Possible Ratings)
Pineapple Express: Full Price Rental

I gotta say that Blockbuster is growing their Blu-ray selection pretty well. They are now up to 4 shelves of only Blu-ray. Each time I go in (probably once a month) they have added another one. [I guess being on the verge of bankruptcy will make one reevaluate their products offerings. ]

On the other hand they now charge $4.99 (before tax) for any new movie?!?!?!?! WTF?!?!?!

Well, when I went in there this time I could have rented 10 things never leaving the Blu-ray shelves - not that they were great flicks or anything - just that there were things I had been thinking of seeing. Feeling cheesy we went with all comedy: Pineapple Express, Zack & Miri Make a Porno and Tropic Thunder.

They were all passably entertaining...but I was mostly struck by the crossover of talent between these unrelated films.

	Pineapple Express	Zack & Miri	Tropic Thunder
Seth Rogen	•	•
Bill Hader	•		•
Danny McBride	•		•
Craig Robinson	•	•

We took special joy in this in that Bill Hader is my boi on SNL, and Darryl is always one of the best reasons to watch The Office anymore. ...so it is good to see them getting the love.

While KLAJ was visiting I was flipping through the TV channels when suddenly nephew #1 yelled, "Stop!". Huh? What? Turns out it was The Princess Diaries on ABC Family channel - which fit with him being 4. I softly but firmly told him "No, sorry...there are other people in the room...and most of them are too old to be watching silly Disney movies."...and kept flipping. But he cried and cried, so finally we turned back and let him have what he wanted.

But after we watched it we were all amazed. I don't want to give away anything. But the main character starts off ugly and unpopular with a bunch of true friends. We were all shocked when it turns out she is more than she seems...gets a makeover and 5 minutes of civility training...and then the people who weren't her friends before now are! Then the twist none of us saw coming. The true friends were saddened by her not being herself and leaving them behind. But in the end it all works out.

I don't know who that actress was here - but I think she got overlooked for an Oscar^™.

PS: Julie Andrews is a god.

PPS: How many damn commercials can ABC Family show? They must have showed 3 minutes of commercials for every 7 minutes of movie.

Rating    (Possible Ratings)
The Princess Diaries: Matinee

She scored us preview tickets for Baz Luhrmann's new epic, Australia. So we got to see it a week before the rest of the world. Nice!!!

We are huge fans of Baz's work, especially Strictly Ballroom and Moulin Rouge...so we had hopes that he would again deliver something special here. Sadly, immediately the first sign that we were about to go astray appeared - the run time; 2 hours and 45 minutes. You know with that much celluloid that there is little chance the script isn't a bloated mess.

Upon seating, the first thing that really turned me off about this movie is the oft-used "right-minded white people triumphing over racism" meme. Meanwhile the aboriginal characters actually suffering under the yoke of oppression get the honor of smiling and kow-towwing before these forward-thinking whiteys. I realize Luhrmann is trying to expose the shame of the treatment of indigenous peoples down under - but the presentation rubs me all wrong - as it has in numerous Hollywood period pieces before. If it does you too, there is no escaping it in this movie it runs from first minute to last.

Even if one isn't affected by the perception of the false benevolence that I have - this movie is almost like an attempt to assemble every possible cliché ever presented in cinema. The aristocratic woman who goes to the wilderness under extraordinary circumstances. The rugged, gruff outdoorsman with a secret tender heart. The misunderstood "orphan". The outsider who immediately sees all that is wrong with common held beliefs in her new world and overcomes them in 2 hours. Evil cattle barons. The drunk just waiting for someone to believe in him. Juliet is thought to have died, Romeo gets suicidal. The black guy always dies. There was not a single turn in this movie that could not be seen coming.

The secondary ethereal / mystical layer that Baz always has in his movies is not nearly as effective here as it has in in his previous efforts - it might have worked if the movie didn't run so long already. I ended up blaming most of the fat on needless fire/star/dream shots.

You are probably thinking I hate this thing - but I have probably overstated my case. The plot is at least cohesive, if not original. There are a few laughs here and there. Nicole and Hugh do aptly with what they are given. Like all Luhrmann movies - the cinematography in this movie is stunning. ...which I guess also includes the Hugh Jackman beefcake shot. Women only have to wait a mere 10 minutes to get their highly-touted soapy reward. Actually if I were to make a recommendation I would say grab a matinee with the girls, stay for your beefcake and then leave and go have a Cosmo to cool down.

Rating    (Possible Ratings)
Australia: Full Price Rental
Moulin Rouge: Opening Night
Strictly Ballroom: Matinee

We sparked up Hard Candy on OnDemand. Didn't really know much about it except for seeing posters of it at the Lagoon.

It is interesting to see what someone can do with 5 actors (3 of which are only on screen for maybe 3 minutes total) and 2 sets. Although I think many of the lines out of Ellen Page's mouth are much too intellectual for any 14 year old character - same thing I felt in Juno - but she, as an actress, does an amazing job with them. Patrick Wilson creeps the hell out of me (as his character is written to) - but shows a fantastic range of anger - and MOST DEFINITELY fear.

Hmmmm....I am not keeping any more ice around the house from now on.

Rating    (Possible Ratings)
Hard Candy: Full Price Rental
Juno: Matinee [previously reviewed]

One minute after midnight on opening day She, Mother- and Father-in-Law and I (and my coworker, Chris) joined a small crowd of 100 other people to see Quantum of Solace in glorious Coon Rapids.

Although Bond 22 picks up 10 minutes after Casino Royale leaves off - it sadly did not pick up the taunt reins that Royale had been masterfully steered with. You can watch the writers/director clumsily putting the movie together out of a Lincoln Log set of pre-canned action sequences and plot twists ...but in the end building nothing of substance.

When the first two scenes of a show are purposely shot in ragged, fast-cut, non-SteadyCam style...you know you have someone trying to kick up the movie through camera tricks instead of writing or drive/fight choreography. Once that tired film school standby was thankfully abandoned all that was left was the poor pacing and unfocused combat, action for action's sake. It is obvious the writers couldn't decide between making the movie Death Wish or Syriana. The film would have been better served to have just been a pure vengeance tale against a vast faceless syndicate...but those in charge must have thought that too basse for Mr Bond.

The worst thing about thinking back on the movie is that I cannot really select a scene I was really impressed with - something that serves as a self-contained bit of cinema that could stand on its own forever (for example: think back on the poisoning sequence in Casino Royale, or the airplane fueling station fist fight in Raiders of the Lost Ark, or the 4-season street vendor montage in Notting Hill). This is just one big blur of....."WHAT just happened?"

Sadly, the phrase "Quantum of Solace" might as well be a synonym for "meh".

What a precipitous fall from Royale to here.

Rating    (Possible Ratings)
Quantum of Solace: Matinee
Casino Royale: Opening Night [previously reviewed]